History has again been made today as the Hubble, Spitzer and Kepler space telescopes teamed up to discover planet Reach from the game Halo: Reach. The news especially hits home for Larry Buzby of Regina, Saskatchewan. “It was a dream come true. Who knew that after a few days of playing this game that I would see it become a reality!?” Says a teary eyed Larry, who just purchased the game at a discount from a local second hand gaming shop. “I remember a YouTube video that covered the discovery of Gliese 581 g and many of us gamers hoped that it was this very planet. Some jackoff kept ripping on us for being stupid, but who has the last laugh now!?” Added Larry, 25 who currently resides in his mother’s basement.
SpaceX CEO and Entrepreneur Elon Musk immediately announced plans to send an advanced destroyer to the newly found world within the next 50 years. When asked how he would develop the fusion reactor used in the game, as well as the SPARTAN-III Mark-V armor, he simply winked and said, “trust me, we got this.” And when asked how he would get the funding for the research and development for, what he now calls the Halo Project, he stated that he was sure all the Halo gamers would pitch in a hundred bucks each. “Hey, if they’re willing to pay 80 bucks for a game, how much do you think they’ll kick in to actually become a part of it becoming a reality?”
When we inquired about this with Larry he enthusiastically stated that he would gladly volunteer to be the first of the crop of soldiers making planet fall. “Sure, I may have to lose a little weight, first…” he smirked and patted his beer gut, “… but I’m sure Elon would let me slide on the requirements, especially since I’ll be dropping 200 bucks on it.” That’s the spirit, Larry… you can’t keep a good dream down.