Most of us are unappreciated. I’d like to think that we all do our best to facilitate other people, but that would be myself being delusional… and you too, if that’s what you strongly believe. One could be the most talented, intelligent, useful and wise person, but all others – at least those in the position to help one grow and prosper – seem to see is just another nobody. Obviously, we’re nobody, otherwise why else would we be at the very bottom of the totem pole in every aspect of life. It must be all our fault.
We are often told by those who judge us that the one commonality, in all the situations that negatively impact us, is us. But, how far does that logic really fly? Does it not seem to you that there are other commonalities that prevent us from getting any form of satisfaction in life that are not just us? Well there are; shitty managers, rich people, crazy people and friends of shitty managers, rich people and crazy people. Taking full blame for every adversity that befalls us is disingenuous and self defecating. Stop it.
As a person who has learned long ago to look objectively and critically at oneself, I’ve been paying attention to both sides of the issue. What I have found appals me, confounds me and makes me angry. For a species that is named wise human too many of us behave so unwisely. For an animal that can empathize, and are able to choose decency over impropriety, we more often choose the latter. They step on anyone who gets between them and their objective, and sacrifice the soldier to save an officer.
We demonstrate our worth over and over again, or at least we try to if anyone would take the time out of their busy narcissism to look. We do this because that is what we’re told we’re supposed to do. If we do not demonstrate our worth, how would the overseers know? Well, we do demonstrate, especially when we aren’t aware of it. It’s evolved human behaviour. We seek to show others what we can do. It is why we call to friends to “check out what I did”. When we’re particularly proud of something it shows… even when we don’t realize it. The logic of this whole demonstration equation puts the onus solely on us. It is not a one sided issue. It is also the duty of those in control to look for these demonstrations, because if they do not they are failing us… not the other way around.
No wonder most of us don’t have the confidence to follow through on things that help us grow, that push those comfort boundaries and help fuel our self esteem. We are taking too much blame for the shitty situation we are in. Surely some of the downtrodden have done it to themselves, but that does not automatically translate into everyone who is downtrodden has been the sole author of their fate.
We are flooded with negativity about ourselves so often from birth to death that, on the rare occasion that we do actually take pride in something we’ve done, at best that pride falls on deaf eyes and at worst we are ridiculed for it. Our pride is muted, or outright destroyed, and our self esteem takes that hit every bloody time. Once in the accretion disk of the black hole, I call depression, an incredible amount of effort is needed just to not slip closer to that hole. So, you can imagine the effort I have put into this personal realization that I don’t suck, that these overseers are anything but sages, that this entire system of how bosses rule roosts is deeply and utterly fucked.
The Gallup organization, you know the one we used to trust but don’t even hear about anymore, had done a multi-million dollar study worldwide to find out that people don’t leave jobs, or even companies… they leave people, specifically managers. This then begs the question,why in all the levels of hell has nothing been done about it? Why have we gone so long, from the beginning of capitalism til now, completely and totally brain dead on this? My guess is, we haven’t really been brain dead. Including a very few managers, we are deeply aware of what’s going on. We just cannot fix it. We are forced to play their game by their ever changing rules, made up ad hoc… rules, by the way, they clearly do not have to follow. Most of us are too scared to say anything, and this is understandable, because if we do we are labelled and placed in the GTFO queue. The moment anything can be used as an excuse to be rid of the squeaky wheel we are turfed.
Some of us have unions that protect us, but only some. The vast majority are not union members. We have to rely on the laws of the state, laws formed by politicians bought and paid for by the big boys to leave them openings to screw anyone who stands up for themselves and insist on a fair shake. We are dropped like hot potatoes and we are left with no recourse to call them on the shitty logic they just used as justification.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there is a good employer out there SOMEplace. One that doesn’t recycle Christmas party speeches, with empty verbal respects paid to the very people they’ve screwed over in order to eek out that little bit more profit. I’m sure there’s a company out there that isn’t out to fool stakeholders just how awesome the company is doing, when it’s actually tanking. This brings me to another question that’s begging in my head right now. Is a company laying off because the economy is tanking, or is the economy tanking because these companies are just too narcissistic to recognize that they’re screwing everyone? Did you know that 2016 is the year that the rich possess half the world’s wealth… and they’re getting even richer?
I digress. This is about how we, you, don’t suck. This is about how it’s really not your fault. This is about taking control of the little part you can, that part of you that cannot be denied by anyone, that part that tells you that you are valuable even (and perhaps especially) when they refuse to see it.